Spiritual Practice of Discernment

What in the world is God up to?

This is the central question of spiritual direction. Based in the radical belief that God is always present, active, moving in the world and in our lives, and we are invited, but never coerced, into discovering and joining God in that creative, healing, nourishing dance.

But how do know where God is, and what is ours to do?

This is where the spiritual art of discernment comes in. Which is far easier to describe than to actually practice.

When I was growing up in the Christian faith, I heard often about the importance of “knowing and doing the will of God,” of believing God had a plan for my life. I imagined it like a grand blueprint, all laid out, from start to finish. But when and how would God deliver it? How would I recognize “the signs?” I wasn’t given a whole lot of guidance or practice in discerning God’s will.

As I grew in faith and life experience, it became increasingly clear that God’s plan was not going to arrive as a master blueprint, and there would be no blinking neon signs pointing the way. I sometimes learned this quite painfully.

Like the time after my house burned to the ground and I lost pretty much everything. This most certainly was not in MY plan. Nor I do not believe that everything that happens to us is God’s will for us either. But it was a profoundly disorienting experience, and I was desperate for some sense of God’s presence, some meaning to come out of the rubble.

In that season of distress, I was invited on a hike with dear friends, one known for its stunning views and panoramas. Perfect. I just had a feeling that when we got out of town and into the clear, mountain air, God would give me a fresh vision for my life, show me the way out of this present darkness.

As it turned out, it was a dreary, overcast day. And as we drove into the mountains, they were thick with fog. My heart sank. It felt like a betrayal. How could God not show up when I was in such desperate pain and so hungry for clarity? I couldn’t decide if I was more angry at God for not coming through, or at myself for foolishly believing God would.

Nevertheless, I took to the soggy path, awash in disappointment and confusion, mind spinning in dark loops. But somehow, somewhere along the way, a wave of light pierced through. The day, the hike, the views were not what I wanted or prayed for. I could not see for miles and miles; in fact, the gloom was so thick, I could only see about ten feet ahead of me. But I learned that was enough; if I just focused on the path immediately ahead of me, and put one foot in front of the other, I could make the whole hike that way.

God did not show up that day in the way I wanted. I would not be given a clear, fresh vision for my life. But I do believe God was there, inviting me into a whole new way to journey. Showing me that discernment was less like the map in the trail book, and more like a hike in the fog. Maybe we don’t get the five-year, ten-year, whole-life vision, but can we see the ten feet in front of us, discern the next right thing, and unfold a whole life that way?

Even that can feel intimidating or challenging. There are so many paths, so many directions we can choose. So many voices calling us to be and do all sorts of things. How do we sort out the voice of our ego, from the voices of countless others in our lives and of the culture in which we live, from “the still, small voice” of God?

It is not easy. That’s why it’s called the practice or art of discernment. It takes time, space, quiet and listening. It takes trust, and that in itself, can be no small thing to cultivate in our relationship with God.

While we ultimately have to discern our own way, spiritual direction can help us tune in. At their best, spiritual directors offer another set of eyes and ears for the particular journey of your life, helping you spot a blaze you may have passed, a path you might not have considered, a way to lighten your pack, or a different way to walk, not to mention helping you see and savor all the gift and beauty along the way, even when you feel lost in the woods or in a blanket of fog.

Looking for another way to walk through the woods of your life? A spiritual director can be a lovely hiking companion. You can read more about spiritual direction here, or email me to set up an initial conversation. I am currently seeing people both live in my office at St. Bartholomew's and online via Zoom.

Interested in learning more about the spiritual practice of discernment? I invite you to join one of the Tuesday evening Wellsprings Contemplative Prayer Circles as we focus on this theme for the month of November. Or join the FLOW community practicing personal discernment each Monday morning in our Soul Tuning.

Warmly,

Kimberly